I KNOW I AM A MESS NO ONE WANTS TO CLEAN UP

This was inspired by listening to Fiona Apple tonight. It's a couple of observations that I have had in the last months. Observing friends, strangers and myself.



In short I am losing it. A familiar person has a key to my heart but i keep changing the lockIt's one of those nights were music speaks for what you're feeling. I am always crushing myself somehow. How do I stay above the surface. i had someone that could see through my skin and now he's gone. i know it's my fault, but why am i thinking of suicide, because everything seems to be a cycle. i am trying to change it. I didn;t know what love was for. It was some game that we all had our cards in and I lost last night. Now I understand why so many people fuck other people to feel alive and forget about the person they truly wanted. i did it, I know atleast I learned something. Why am I attracted to people that ,I know won't last long. Doesn't matter now the love we had , or the things we shared . I just need to learn to let it go because it will never be again. Is this is a beginning. sometimes it's not about looking for the cure, it's about dealing with the illness coexisting.