I will still be on my feet.....

Last night I could feel the depression cloud over me, so I started cooking and left my family with some food. I took a well needed bath and headed over to my friend's jazz performance.Sitting there in the dark corner was just what I needed. I liked just observing everyone and seeing my friend fiercily playing the piano. He's one of those few people that's presence can calm me down. I saw him play for a good two hours and then went up to him and he seemed surprised that I was there. We talked to each other for about 10 mintutes and he introduced me to his band. One of his bandmates said he reconized me from the bay area. Which I find very funny because that's about the 3rd time someone has said that. The bay area is so small and some reason i could never hide in it. He said I dressed like people in the bay area and I figured because women here follow vogue like a bible. There seems to be no sense of self style. In any case I got 2 pina coladas and said goodbye and took a very long walk home looking at everything and just enjoying the fact that I exist and was allowed to watch such a talented band play. I promised my friend Aaron that I would be a better friend but for now I needed more time to figure out this loan thing so I could just get a place of my own or share with one other person which most likely will be Chrysa or Martin. In any case i need to get outta my house. I have gained so much weight from stress and I don't like the way I look or feel here. I need to get back to that place where I am exercising at a normal size and just content. I am going to go back to my joni mitchell playing and cleaning my room. Have a great day!