Poem turning into a song

I have been working on this song for several months. It's pretty much about someone I used to date about 4 years ago. In any case here it is, leave me a comment and tell me what needs work, what works, whatever.



Joni Mitchell was right
Play with my heart
Then get a knife
Falling apart at a blink of an eye Don't it all seem to go
When I had what I wanted and Let it go
Caught it
And
Put up a Nine Inch Nails song This poem is directed at you:

when I was little, I cried and dreamed of you not knowing your name. only what you could do I've wanted to end it all, but knew not to bother being driven by death, by both mother and father
couldn't hang the rope around my neck
or have a heart attack because of the stress
this life seemed so black and weary, except you
were a thought passing in my mind that came true
on those night were abuse left me black and blue
and my emotions were caged like animals in a zoo
you gave me salvation, but you never knew
no peace or solitude ever kept me company
it seemed only suffering was meant for me
but by chance I found you and make a discovery
that now you fail from grace similarly
my hands can't reach to bring you security
damn why was I born with such impurity
silent you are ravaged and torn apart bit by bit
and frozen where I lay I can only watch and sit
I'd give up my life, if it could save another
I am so restricted, why can't I provide you cover
they hurt you so deep, that I too feel the pain
you tears are so intense, like a warm spring rain
I close my eyes and hold my breathe, say goodbye to life, as I take my final
gasp. ..
I wanted to see you through it all, but that was just one test in life I wasn't meant to
pass..
never ask to be make strong unless you can pay it's price
never ask to be wiser if you won't use it to save another's life
make me deaf to sound, blind to evil. better yet don't make me again at all
because he is still there crying, and there's nothing I can do at all.