Addictions

Whenever I felt bad I used to just eat, eat eat. Now I walk walk walk, until I end up somewhere I have no idea how I got to. Yesterday, was one of those days, I walked everywhere until I found myself in Battery Park admiring the harvest moon, my favorite moon. I stayed there until 2 am and then walked home. My new addictions are listening to my ipod so intensly I don't know there is a world around me. I want to hide myself from everyone, just become one with music and I can't do that if i hear all the noise around me. I am also getting addicted to my kickboxing class. This week at school was a bad one, I kept making mistakes and I know that that is expected of me, but it's like this new chef doesn't ever look pleased with me and I just want her to. The tears are streaming down my face and ALL I want to do is escape far away from here. I wish I had a car, I would be deadly with it. Drive it everywhere. I had a dream last night that I had a car and I drove it all the way to Prince Edward Island, Canada. I know I would, I am insane like that so maybe it's better I don't have one. My bathroom is getting remodeled and I can't wait till it's done because I want to soak myself in a bath. My father leaves to Puerto Rico this thursday and will be there for 2 weeks, thank god. I fucking hate that motherfucker. I don't care and he's not really my father in the first place, he's someone who just took that title for power. My friend Maia called me and wants to live in an apartment with me so right now I need to work extra hard and not spend anymore money. I want to have a place by November, by the time I graduate from Culinary School. I need to get out this hellhole. I am actually doing well you know. I been working hard at school and keeping weekends somewhat free to hang out with people or just myself. I love being by myself but lately I want to take a buddy on my city adventures, last night Aaron and I hung out for a while . We talked about the girl he's dating and about the boy I had two dates with. I think his girl seems promising. I don't expect mine to be, I don't expect anyone to be. But who knows maybe I'll get surprised. I think today I feel like going to Central Park and climbing some rocks. Also I have been competely OBESSED with the new Coldplay album. I love those boys.
Peace