May you one day carry me home

I haven't written here for a while because I don't know what to make out of all the events and news from the last couple of weeks. I have several friends who are getting married this spring and having children. It's always a shock for me, not that I am not happy for them, but there is a sense of sadness, because I know that who I knew before isn't going to be who they are changing to be. Friends are slowly becoming strangers. I still love them but to be honest, I gotta get new friends. I want people I can hang out with and most of my friends I haven't seen in a year or more, which is sad. I am happy people are getting themselves together. It's nice seeing people in love, starting their lives together.
I am still working day and night it seems. I am just tired. I am excited for my house party in a month. It' s going to be kick ass.
Love life still nothing, which I kinda like sometimes. I have been alone meaning barely seeing friends and not being in a relationship for 3 years now. I am used to it.
I'll be alone by maybe more carefree Like a kite that floats so effortlessly I was afraid to be alone Now im scared thats how id like to be All the faces none the same How can there be so many personalities So many lifeless empty hands So many hearts in great demand And now my sorrow seems to far away Until i'm taken by these bolts of pain But i turn them off and tuck them away till these rainy days that make them stay And then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs And the words still ring, once here now gone And they echo through my head everyday And i dont think they'll ever go away Just like tihnking of your childhood home But we cant go back were on our own .