my new favorite album, he's a genius

New York, Baby, New York

blue sky blues

So I have been hiding from everyone because my life is going through some big changes. Like when good close friends are moving away, I decide to ponder marriage with someone who needs a green card or when I ponder moving away as well. I admit, I can't handle changes very well. I hate working the same job for more then several months. My bandmate has feels for me and now isn't speaking to me because of them. Which sucks , because we get along musicially like frosting and cake. In general we get along well. The guy who lived near me and I was interested in hasn't called me in nearly a month so I am going to take that as a big hint. It just painful. But , I am excited about the steps I am taking to change my life. I love exploring new places and meeting new people. I decided to put an ad up on Cl to meet new people because I need friends that I actually see. My nights are spent with the music of Ryan Adams and Jeff Buckley and glasses of OJ and Vodka. I am working overtime this weekend because my partner in baking needs a break. Plus, it's cool because I am about to tell her that in about 3 weeks I plan to go to the bay area to visit people. I need a vacation, to see the moon , tan, and spent time with friends.
I am also checking out some bakeries and places out there. I might be moving out there for the spring and summer.
I can't wait till spring comes. I have a good feeling about 2006, just the beginning is a little bumpy.

I am working on my music because I have this craving to be on stage. i need to sing. I am one of those people who can't seem to be passionate just about one thing. I need to be doing several things at once or I'll lose my mind to boredom.
To everyone, sorry about hiding, I just need my time. I love you.

I love him

RESOLUTION

This year instead of saying I want to lose weight I am actually going to get something accomplished that will push me furthur.
I won't be losing weight because I already do, I lift hundreds of flour a day, run up and down stairs for 13 hours a day, so I can already see the difference in my body. Another thing, men will have to take me the waty I am. I will no longer feel the need to change. I am someone worth gettiing to know and if they can see it then they are the blind ones.

These are the things I want to accomplish by 2007.
Get a band together and get a group of songs we perform all over NYC.
Get a salary paid job (more money, atleast 35,000 a year) would be nice
Get my own place
Take more vacations
Keep doing things that will help me accomplish my dreams
Surround myself with lovely people...