Saving my deepest thoughts for later

And then all of a sudden I feel my tears choking my throat again. Maybe half the reason I work 10 hour days is to drown out whatever is bothering me, which is a couple of things. My friend Will does tarot readings and he read some cards, all I can say is that usally I don't believe in that stuff but now I do. The thing is I need to follow my intution , I know more that I think I do. I just need to follow my gut. I have been so stressed lately with work and just not sleeping enough. Tomorrow night I have to sleepover which sucks, but that will be my last day, then I am free and I can have somewhat of a life again. I need a vacation. What I will have tonight is a good cry, I have too many things inside this body and I can't hold on to them any longer. Listening to Silverchair, god, how 90's . They have some great songs. I am trying very hard to remember not to look back, but I just saw a profile of my ex best friend Emily, and it just killed me, I miss her sometimes, we had some good times. I just don't like the fact that she got involved with someone and stopped being friends with everyone. So I hear now she's straight, gothic and still a bitch. I hope she's happy. I just wished we could have remained friends, but I changed so much in 2 years and I knew deep down inside, she was too shallow and selfish for me to remain friends with.

Listening to Massive Attack reminds me of my first year at Mills. I wish I could repeat that year again. I would change some things but all in all it was such a wonderful experiance. In any case I should go to bed and lay there for a while until I fall asleep.Maybe so much of my listening to 90's music, isn't so much about the music as it is holding on the memories of childhood. then again I do miss those bands.





Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken.
For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He/She who looks for it below there is wasting his/her time-Isabel Allende.