No soy familia

I'm searching for something I might never find
I'm losing faith in everything that surrounds me
Black clouds of dust blind my eyes
and i am hoping you're standing somewhere in the darkness
somewhere in the darkness
I'm just wasting away
no blood no love
they said
it's a cindrella story
My veins are highways
my blood like roots from a tree
yet you don't want to see
I'm just like family
I'm from one lost soul
mother wasn't all to well
father passed away from cancer
the needle helped his pain substain


This is a beginning of something. The beginning of coming to turns with being adopted. My father was a drug addict and he died of cancer, of what kind of cancer, I am not sure. My mother has been on and off to mental hospitals, of what I fear might be deep within me. I have never met her and right now I am on a journey to trying to. I just want to see her, I want to see who gave birth to me. I want to talk to her if I can. But seeing her would be nice. Sometimes I get down because the only people who accept me as family in my adopted family are my brother and sisters and mother, everyone else always reminds me of the fact that I am not blood. It makes me feel so lost honestly and just unloved. I don;t want to live like that anymore. I miss my brother,it's been 5 months and I just wanna see him and give him some hugs.