I want to send my congratulations to .....

Best foreign language film of the year:
“The Sea Inside”
A Sogecine and Himenóptero Production
Spain
I want to send my congratulations and pure joy to Spain because the world needs to start reconizing that you are pulling out some amazing movies. Also Javier Bardem, you're an amazing actor.
Also Sideways and Eternal Sunshine won an award and that was great news.
Ok, I am going to stop being a dork and leave the Oscars alone now.

WAINWRIGHT WRONG ABOUT JEFF

this is intense!


RUFUS WAINWRIGHT has said how he spent three years being "jealous and resentful" of JEFF BUCKLEY but a chance encounter changed his mind and inspired new song ’MEMPHIS SKYLINE’.

’Memphis Skyline’ is one of the songs that features on Wainwright’s forthcoming album ’Want 2’, which is released in the UK next spring.

Speaking to Rolling Stone, the singer explained how Buckley inspired the track.

He said: "I was really jealous of him and resentful of his success for a long time when I started out. So I began a couple-year-long hatred of Jeff Buckley.

"Years later, I actually met him in person and we hung out. This was after I had time to make my own record and have my own set of problems. I realised he was just a very, very delicate and sensitive and depressed guy who, if you blew on him, would crumble.

"I had a really lovely night hanging out with him. That night I realised just the futility of jealousy. And, of course, a month later he died. He would have been an amazing guy to sing with."

The album is released in North America this week

This is for Fabio

I don't know if you have ever seen this but here it is.

jeff buckley - forget her :: urbnmix.net

DINNER PARTY!!!!

My dinner party was great!All my friends can't stop talking about each other, so in a couple of months when my parents go away again I am having another one, but by then I will mostly likely have an apartment with Martin and Chyrsa. I just have to see about these jobs I am applying to. I am very excited about my future though. I have so many things I want to do and it finally feels good to live in a nice clean bright apartment. My room took me a while but I am really feeling it's new design. I hope people liked it! It was so overwelming to see everyone. I was moved to tears by the pure talent and kindness of everyone. I love my family, because that's who they are. It was beautiful just seeing everyone interact so well and laughing. I think I am going to clean the kitchen very quickly and just see what the day has to offer. I know there is a dance party at luke and Leroys tomorrow and I might do that. Though I have work tomorrow from 12pm -6pm. In any case haaa it was great seeing everyone, I will always remember that night. i wish I took pictures, I think i was too busy in the kitchen. Next party there is going to be a theme, i just have to see what kinda theme it's going to be. There was this magical feeling to the event, like old souls coming together, reuniting again. I am so grateful for the wonderful people I have in my life.
iT WAS ALSO GREAT SHaring an obession together with friends. I have other thoughts but I will keep those personal

inspired by tonight's full moon.

What happened between us by the bay?
One mintute we're talking and the next i see you walking
The old lady in the house downtown told me to stay and pray to the full moon. But soon, will you come back to me. Just one fight and I see you leave, is that how it's supposed to be? SOOO they say that time will tell but baby why don't you just tell me?
Is it a sense of pride? Should I stay up and worry all night, or fall asleep until morning and expect you by my side. Sweet dreams, you used to say and tonight it's fallen grey with the tears in my throat and the voices haunting me?
Just one fight and I see you leave, is that how it's supposed to be? SOOO they say that time will tell but baby why don't you just tell me?


balhhhhhhh more lyrics come to me full moon.

Thank you.... song

Eu não sei que o que aconteceu a mim ontem à noite. Às vezes eu temporarly perdeu-me. torno-me outra pessoa, alguém que eu não sei plenamente ainda. Anseio para a necessidade estar só no próprio espaço pequeno. É todo que eu peço. Miento em minha cama perguntando-se o que podia ter sido, eu não tento a, mas com você é diferente. Então todo que eu posso fazer é permanece seu amigo e o deseja bem. Tenho que acreditar que estará aí para mim um dia. Encabeçarei para fora só o meio que eu vim neste mundo. Deu-me as duas noites bem maravilhosas de minha vida, que eu nunca esquecerei-me-ei. Obrigado, meu caro amigo.

Despite the Tears

I am alone in my house and half of me is a little scared but the other half likes the solitude. I don't have the constant voices asking me to do various tasks. I finished cleaning one bathroom and now at 8:00pm comes the other one and I will also try and finish the kitchen tonight, though some company would be great. I'll most likely go out and see about just taking a walk and picking up the mail. Listening to all kinds of music all day. It's been nice not to expect anyone home , to just be alone and relax. I added a candle to my bathroom , for this week at least, I can enjoy just going to a relaxing bath. My goal tonight is to finish cleaning the cat's bathroom and start cleaning my dirty kitchen. You know it's funny because my room is a diseaster zone right now and whenever I have lived alone it's always very clean. I just think the atmosphere of my house isn't very positive and it affects how clean my room is. I mean I am really not as messy as my room may lead to. I am actually pretty neat, just the constant bickering gets to me. In any case, I need to finish getting dressed so i can pick up the mail and my laundry downstairs and get to cleaning.


I miss my friend Dave who passed away this summer... answer me this Dave, is it better up there?
Cynthia

Rest In Peace Hunter Thompson

"The counter-culture author Hunter Thompson, who popularized a new form of personalized journalism, has died at 67 in what investigators believe to be a suicide. Thompson wrote the 1972 classic, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the tale of a drug-abusing journalist and his lawyer visiting a motocross race.

With writers like Tom Wolfe and Gay Talese, Thompson was known for a new style of journalism, full of wide-ranging impressions and the author's personality. In his case, that personality drew fans and outrage, as Thompson's "gonzo journalism" recounted his drug use and a range of unconventional ideas.

Thompson was found dead Sunday in his home near Aspen, Colo., of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound."

dancing tonight

I decided that tonight I am most likely going to the Roxy to go dancing. I am going alone because my friends are spending time with their lovers and so tonight i will see what happens.... if anyone reads this and wants to go with me. Call a sistah up!

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds. You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

omg I just found this link again

Last year there was a fetish ball, and i went with my friend Johnathon.... holy shit welcome..... everyone was scared of him. All I can say is "welcome to San Fransisco" http://blackcycle.deviantart.com/gallery/

I'll follow the funeral mourners

I just saw Talk to Her and I have to say is that :ALMODOVAR is my personal hero. He's amazing, his movies always leave tears in my eyes. I hope to one day make films that have the same effect on people the way his films affect me. I want to but I am so scared of feeling that way again. Lately I have been listening to "Grace" and " Mystery White Boy" I haven't listened to those two cds in a while. I wish I could have seen Jeff Buckley in concert. Broken down and hungary for your love and no way to feed it. The man's energy in that song is astounding. I need to form a band, that's what I need to do.
I'll follow the funeral mourners

Another lame song

I am scared to ask questions right now
I don't want to know the answers to
The outcome is always bad
because I have bad timing and the luck of a nothingman
Approaching you innocently want to devour your with sin.
I'll be waiting in that long line you got
my bitterness has turned to tears locked in my throat
Am I wasting time?
Should I give it time?
I don't want to jump to early to ask the questions that are lurking.
I am just hoping this will work out
I don't want to be patient anymore
let me give you a try.
just to let you know
I am scared to ask questions right now
I don't want to know the answers to
The outcome is always bad
because I have bad timing and the luck of a nothingman
Approaching you innocently want to devour your with sin.
I'll be waiting in that long line you got
my bitterness has turned to tears locked in my throat
tell me right away
if you're not feeling the same way

Use my skin

~ you tease with the silence of your words
This body will never heal with the void of song
So make it clear
It doesn't have to be often, but don't play around I don't want to be laid in this grave.
In this coffin
Not yet, words don't fall so easily but when they do
they pierce the eyes
So I left you to collide
you were right there by my side, but only so much can be said,
without words drumming in your head,
so I got up and left through your rusted door
I just couldn't take those big gaps anymore.
Say something
Say something
I wanted to say
You just stayed quiet
The loudest I could ever be
was leave you.

This Sunday we will be bringing back ASHES TO ASHES, the New Romantic celebration, for one night only at the decadent Denizen Lounge in Soho. What is New Romantic you ask?

ASHES TO ASHES, brought to you by Mr. X and Miss Fabulous, is a celebration of the genderbending fashion forward New Romantic phase of early 80's London. You will dance to the sounds of Visage, Duran Duran, Gary Numan, Human League, ABC, Adam and the Ants, Berlin, Blancmange, Classix Nouveaux, A Flock Of Seagulls, Kajagoogoo, OMD, Soft Cell, Spandau Ballet, and the music that inspired it like Kraftwerk, Bowie, etc.

With no work on Monday and no cover to pay at Denizen Lounge you really have no reason not to be there - so shall we expect you there this Sunday nite..?

kisses,
Mr. X and Miss Fabulous

This Sunday February 20:
ASHES TO ASHES
The New Romantic/New Wave Party
with DJs Mr. X and Miss Fabulous
9pm - closing
No cover - 18+ Admitted
Denizen Lounge, 73 Thompson Street (between Spring & Broome Sts)
212.966.7299
www.denizenlounge.com
Subway: C,E to Spring Street 

estoy cansada

ahhhhh it's five a clock and i have no clothes lol. I need to do laundry so badly. I am also exhausted so i am going to bed right now. good night my little blog.

NEWS!

Last night I found out one of my boarding school buddies is most likely moving to Vermont and getting married. He asked me to be there, I don't know what it means but it might mean, being a part of the service. i am excited for him, but I am a little in shock. I mean damn I just found out he's gay a couple of months ago. This world is crazy, life goes by so fast, sometimes I feel like I am 10 steps behind everyone else. Also I have a crush and I am wondering if I should go out dancing tonight. Last night I went to bed listening to Jeff Buckley's version of "Just like a woman" by Bob Dylan. I am getting excited about my dinner party, some people who will be there, I haven't seen in months-years so I am very excited, plus I get to meet everyone's bf or gf. Anyway I am going back to Listening to 90'S alternative before I have to get my ass to Columbia University.

A very first draft of a very new song

I kept your letters after I pushed you away. I came back to say, I am sorry for being that way. Give me another chance, there has to be another way. I know we are both tired of our old ways.Our old ways ( slow british accent) Think about all the letters late at night, that left us up for hours. San Fransisco air giving us hope for a New York future. I kept your letters right beside my drawer, I feel so guilty I left you in pain. I hold your image in mind.


Ok I need to finish this one later nothing is coming up right now.

A SONG TO ME FROM TIM FOLEY

Sally and Tom were in The Room. They were on A Seesaw. Tom went up. Sally went down. Tom went down. Sally went up. They got off The Seesaw. They drew. Sally made Tom A House with A Chimney. Tom made A Smiley for Sally. Tom stood up. So did Sally. Then Tom jumped. Sally did a curtsey. Tom put his hands over his face. Sally put her hands over her face. Tom took his hands away from his face. Sally took her hands away from her face. Tom was making A Goofy at Sally. Sally was making A Silly at Tom. They Switched Places. Sally raised her hands. Tom did not raise his hands. Sally pointed at Tom. Tom pointed at Sally. Sally made A Smiley. Tom did not make A Smiley. Sally looked at Tom. Tom looked at Sally. Sally put her hand on her head. Tom put A Pointy in Sally. Tom left. Sally started to Rot. Then Sally started to Disintegrate. Now Sally's A Skeleton. Tom's A Architect.


Written by the bird man I dated a year ago... I still wonder what was going through my head when i was with him.

About being in your 20's

Damn I am finally twenty, took me long enough, Here is some
> advice
> > or
> > > thoughts really.
> > >
> > >
> > > They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going
> > > along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many
> > > things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
> > > You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a
> > > year or two, but then get scared because you barely know
> > > where you are now.
> > > You start real izing that people are selfish and that, maybe,
> > > those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't
> > > exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the
> > > people you have lost touch with are some of the most
> > > important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are
> > > realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
> > > insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
> > > You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you
> > > thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a
> > > job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the
> > > bottom and that scares you.
> > > Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are
> > > doing and find yourself judging more than usual because
> > > suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your
> > > life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
> > > acceptable and what isn't.
> > >
> > > One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You
> > > laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel
> > > alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the
> > > enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but
> > > soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away,
> > > and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move
> > > forward.
> > > You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
> > > loved could do such damage to you.Or you lie in bed and
> > > wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you
> > > want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but
> > > love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are
> > > doing this because you know that you a ren't a bad person.
> > >
> > > One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
> > > Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to lo ok pathetic.
> > > You go through the same emotions and questions over and
> > > over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
> > > because you cannot seem to make a decision.
> > >
> > > You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
> > > yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now
> > > you'd just like to be a contender!
> > > What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
> > > relates to it.
> > > We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as
> > > hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
> > > Send this to your twenty something friends.... maybe it will
> > > help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of
> > > confusion.....
> > > GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!

ahhhhh yes catholic school dreams 

my sister Irene (the white one) and her friend Carolina! 

Deep
Dark
Affair
Faithless decades
Will
Lead to an early grave
Haunting as a rage-filled teenager
My heart’s like broken music
Waiting to be saved
My body
Bloodletting and peacemaking
Despite my changes
Dignity and humanity still remain
I still shine on every page 

To a Boy....

STAY, BE PATIENT AND LISTEN BECAUSE THIS SONG HITS ME AT MY CORE. MAKES MY TEARS HESITATE IN MY THROAT AND AFRAID TO FALL OUT. JUST STAY AND MAYBE YOU'LL HEAR THE SAME THING I HAVE.....


Listen to Bjork's Cocoon.

The beginnings of a song

Hoping your waiting
waiting for the rest
of the night, we never finished
cuz every little white lie
is only because I needed u
so give me up or take me on
I just want you for my own
is that so bad?
Am I so wrong?
Just give me up or take me on.
I'll keep feeding you little white lies
but only if you stay and give me a break
remember I am as human as that blood on your hand
as the scar on my legs
as the genocide in africa.

Letter from a friend.....

I got this sometime around last year this time of year and it always stays with me....

let me give you a nickle's worth of free advice: don't hold onto things so fiercely. The secret to enjoying life is to be present while it is engaging you, not holding on with all your might to things and words that are flowing away from you. I know that sounds patronizing, but I see so much joy and beauty in you, and I think you see yourself as so inundated with suffering and ugliness. You need to learn to let go of that shit cynthia, before it destroys you, and the people you truly love. Be who you are, and the world will make a path for you, and those who refuse to accept that you will either come around, or recede from your life. You can do it cynthia, and I hope you find your way. >Be safe and well in all your journeys, and if and when you get back to the nyc, come find me. Your Friend,
E.W.

I KNOW I AM A MESS NO ONE WANTS TO CLEAN UP

This was inspired by listening to Fiona Apple tonight. It's a couple of observations that I have had in the last months. Observing friends, strangers and myself.



In short I am losing it. A familiar person has a key to my heart but i keep changing the lockIt's one of those nights were music speaks for what you're feeling. I am always crushing myself somehow. How do I stay above the surface. i had someone that could see through my skin and now he's gone. i know it's my fault, but why am i thinking of suicide, because everything seems to be a cycle. i am trying to change it. I didn;t know what love was for. It was some game that we all had our cards in and I lost last night. Now I understand why so many people fuck other people to feel alive and forget about the person they truly wanted. i did it, I know atleast I learned something. Why am I attracted to people that ,I know won't last long. Doesn't matter now the love we had , or the things we shared . I just need to learn to let it go because it will never be again. Is this is a beginning. sometimes it's not about looking for the cure, it's about dealing with the illness coexisting.

just a long time ago....

You think I'll forget you
But I never left the thought
you think that you leaving
will turn my love to hate
but all i can say is that things like that just don't exist
i'll pass the streets we paraded around so much and leave them
with a smile
some days i feel I'm going to explode from all the emotions
get lost in the sky
hoping your near
there are questions piling up but where are the answers?
being stoned
2nd one i wrote:
Curled up next to the darkness
that won't go away
sometimes your image comes swimming along and everything goes away
stay with me till i can feel my bones

I can sense it
Something important
Is about to happen
It's coming up.

It takes courage to enjoy it
The hardcore and the gentle.
I know I can be a little too intimate
I am raw, womanly and sexy,
With eyes of liquid brown Where you think you’ll fall
I adore you
Where you shut your soul
I will open for you
If we had only known
In a way I'm hoping that I’ll catch you in the throws
I know I am a woman by the way i burn below I believe in one love
Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath
Recollect me darling raise me to your lips
Two undernourished egos four rotating hips
Hold on to me tightly I'm a sliding scale
Can't endure then you can't inhale
Clearly
Out of body experience interferes
And dreams of flying I fit nearly
Surrounds me though I get lonely
Slowly
That's where I want to be
Simple and free Behind your eyes, that's where the sacred lies 

Now I know to not look back. We all need a little trip in the past to remind us why we left it in the first place. Carrying Baggage doesn't build bridges it tears them down. The Lower East Side is ingrained in my very nature. My free spirit is in the bay area along with my unwanted one night stands. I stay silent, there's no use in fighting where to settle down. I was born a gypsy. All I know is that I want you know stand in front of me and tell me I am what you want. Tired of rejection and deception, wasting time on fools.
Ok that's what I wrote on the plane back to nyc on thanksgiving day. It was probably going to be a poem. 

This was a picture taken when I was in 11th grade. I was listening to a lot of death metal and jeff buckley and R&B . I know must be one of the weirdest mixes but I was in a weird state back then called "Teenager". Honesty, I just miss those glasses, those were my "Rosa Parks" glasses.  

The relationship to be of a darker,passionate more obessive nature.... vampire hunger.....