this is no teen angst

sometimes i don't know why my parents adopted my brother and i. Last night my mom and dad pretty much told me that they doubt me until i prove myself. They said that they have no faith in me until I prove myself. I am just tired of trying to please them. So basically this came out of studying music in the new school and studying culinary arts in a month. I am just tired of this shit. I am having a meeting with Martin and Chrysa this week and we are talking about what areas of nyc we are looking at and when its realistic to move in. I just can't be here for more than 2 months. I don't have any respect, privacy or anything in this house. I can't even concentrate. I know that not paying rent is a huge thing and i am lucky my parents live in this city, but when i think about it, i rather pay money and be able to focus on my work and have mental stability than be constantly sucicidal. My boxes come either thursday- saturday. I can't wait to just see what I left behind. In all honestly I miss my brother, I wish i could have him to hug me last night. I feel alone without him.
ok,
I am done, I am a little on edge today