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u know your cuban if----dale huevo!!!!!!!

U No U R Cuban If......You know that you are Cuban:
1) IF for a BBQ at the park or beach, you bring tamales, gigantic ollas of Congri, Yuca y Carne de Puerco (don't forget el mojo!)
2) IF to the above outing you bring la cafetera o el thermos con el cafe.
3) IF you wear a Guayabera with shorts, nylon socks and dress shoes.
4) IF at least 3 men in your familia are named Pepe and you have tias named Fefa, Cuquita or Juana.
5) IF los viejos in your family play dominoes, fuman tabaco and talk about how good Cuba was before Castro.
6) IF at every cumple anos or bautizo there is an assortment of pastelitos de carne, guayaba, croqueticas and bocaditos, and they are placed on the table next to el cake, so they come out en la foto to your primos en Cuba.
7) IF when your Mami gets pissed she yells, "Me cago en la madre que los pario" (don't forget la chancleta!)
8) IF to describe a place that was far away you say it was "en casa del carajo"
9) IF you don't pronounce your R's - as in pa'que, ca'ne, etc. but like to criticar the way other hispanics talk.
10) IF you say "No jodas, Chico" o "Le ronca el mango", to express dismay.
11) IF the top 3 TV shows are Christina, Sabado Gigante and Walter Mercado and you watch todas las novelas.
12) IF you come out from la casa de tu mama, tia or abuela smelling like sazon, bistec empanizado, or platanitos maduros fritos (or any fried food for that matter!)
13) IF you always have Guayaba con Queso in your house and eat it as a dessert.
14) IF you live in NY but your parents cross el puente "Tapanes Si"(Tappan Zee) to go to "Bergenline" in "Nu Jersi" to go to la bodega and buy la carne.
15) IF you go to la cafeteria y te comes una media noche, una frita and you drink un batido de Mamey (no wonder Cuban women have big asses!)
16) IF you eat Arroz con Picadillo at least once a week.
17) IF you made the rice in the rice cooker you have sitting on your kitchen counter.
18) IF you go to Miami or Hialeah to visit your family every July, or to Union City to visit your family if you're in Florida.
19) IF Santa Barbara, San Lazaro or La Virgen de la Caridad are part of your living room decor, your patioor in front of the house AND your American friends think the caramelos, Apples and Bananas are snacks.
20) IF there is a BIG picture of your sister's 15th along with everybody's foto de boda or communion en la sala.
21) IF your suegra still treats your marido o novio like their little baby boy (even though he is a 35+ year old manganzon).
22) IF in every bathroom there is a latica or little bucket under the sink.....(chicas we know this one!).
23) IF every New Year's you wait till midnight to eat las 12 uvas.
24) IF your baby smells like violetas, and wears a "Dios me Bendiga" pin with an Azabache, or a cadena with medallas of all the saints
.25) IF you put a mosquitero around your baby's cuna, even though there are NO mosquitos in your house.
26) IF when you have a dolor de barriga, your abuela makes you pure de Malangas or gives you Tilo or Manzanilla for all ailments.
27) IF you grew up thinking that if you went swimming or took a shower after una jartera you would get an "embolia" and die.
28) IF you are damn proud to be Cuban, Send this to Every single Cuban You Know... Cuba Libre-"No Castro, No ProbLem"
29) RegY - If You Gotta Say "Oye" Before And In Between Everything30) IF you yell instead of speak.

Eye Candy # 2 Toms Waits.... I think he's one of the sexiest men alive. nothing like being super intelligent, talented and strange to put you on cynthia's list of hot men 

I got caught in your look and could never let go. I've been working hard, to forget about everyone. The summer of one, the summer of one. Surrounded by pairs of two and sometimes three, don't want to be any other them. Just want to be alone, to grab the last days of childhood freedom. Gonna buy me some rollerblades to fly away in. Need to figure things out in my head. I stay silent for days. Letting my hair grow so I can later cover my face. I think I just need to lay down next to someone and hug them. No sounds just an embrace.  

summer night mix

summer night mix: "1. Pissing In A River - Patti Smith"

sweet water don't you take him away. Feeling closer as the days close in. Wondering what went wrong and wandering through the dirty ny streets. Becoming frustrated with my own images of that night, thinking of the questions cycling my head. I'll try to stop it with a bottle of chardonnay. Sleeping on fire escapes, the moon watches over me. Wanting to wail these emotions out 

An Article about lizz

Lizz Wright Cuts New Musical Path on 'Dreaming'
by Michele Norris
Wright Talks About Why She Decided to Step Away from Jazz


On her new CD, Lizz Wright adopts a stripped down, folksy sound, moving from piano to the acoustic guitar.



Music from Wright's New CD
Hear three full-length songs from Dreaming Wide Awake:
'Hit the Ground'
'Wake Up, Little Sparrow'
'Get Together'


All Things Considered, June 24, 2005 · With her 2003 debut album, Salt, singer Lizz Wright established herself as one of the brightest newcomers in jazz. Wright shifts course on her follow-up CD, Dreaming Wide Awake, adopting a folksy singer-songwriter sound.
The daughter of a minister in the Holiness Church, Wright grew up traveling with her family to small churches throughout the South, singing from the pulpit wherever they went. Perhaps that's why Wright seemed so comfortable on stage when she made her debut two years ago as an unknown artist who brought audiences to their feet during a series of Billie Holiday tributes.
But the 25-year-old singer says she never really saw herself as a jazz artist. Her new CD, she says, is more reflective of her personal tastes in music. She speaks with NPR's Michele Norris about her new sound.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4717306

ATAME: A movie filled with inspiration for me

You might be a stranger across the room but I see you. From different worlds, so much alike.... that's all I want. To have a connection that doesn't make me sleep at night and to be united

My future bambinos.......These look like the kinda kids I used to play with when I was little. Little squater kids, now I want some of my own , well not now but in 10 years 

My cool INXS picture was cut off.. 

In honor of Dave who loved my silly pictures. It's almost a year babes and I miss you everyday. Rest In Peace 

A new picture taken by my sister Irene!!!!! My fave necklace is featured 

more more words

I''m an empty girl filled with indugent activity
I am just living life the only way I can
running away from ones that show that they want to keep me
It;s a cycle a cycle a cycle
everybight I look at the moon who's full of words
she knows what's good for me
peter Pan has always been the saddest story to me
to realize you have to grow up and that the magic you felt
as a child is gone, to make new magic is what I want to do.
I want to slow dance to Leonard Cohen's " I'm your man"
I want to rollerblade in Battery Park like I did when I was eleven
Thses are some random thoughts I just started jotting down right now. I love the summer. I love walking around the little silent streets of Greenwich Village pretending I am in " Singing in the Rain"
Look if no one is doing anything this weekend, does anyone want to go to the beach and drink some Pinot Noir and Chardonnay I have?

one of my favorite songs

http://pp.hotcodez.com/pp/c.pl?id=13330372389-6665186110-169-2142932" type="application/x-mplayer2" width="320" height="265" ShowControls="0" ShowStatusBar="1" AutoSize="true" loop="true" EnableContextMenu="0" DisplaySize="0" pluginspage="Video'>http://www.microsoft.com/Windows/Downloads/Contents/Products/MediaPlayer/">

Video code provided by cynthia

Old Man

It's funny but I am really liking being alone. I noticed that no matter how much time I wish I had to date, I don't. My friend Chrysa has a boyfriend again. So I joked around with her and told her I won't be seeing her for a good year or two. The truth is I wish i was joking but I am not. It seems whenever people start seeing someone they can't balance that out with other stuff and whenever she dates I barely see her. I barely see anyone now because I am so engrossed in my school work. Speaking of that I got a 100 on my mayonnaise and a 97 on my cauliflower cream soup. So it's been paying off to study my ass off. I also got an A on my paper. So many A's I can barely accept it. It feels good though. Chef sabrina my chef instructor for module 1 took a liking to me.
I know I am all over this little blog, but I haven't written in so long I want to try and get everything down. I went to see Lizz Wright perform on Tuesday with Martin. Lizz Wright is pretty much Aaron's best friend and he invited me to the show so I went. I was very excited to meet her because I have heard so much about her and vice versa. She was so impressive. This very soft spoken girl with the sweetest smile I have ever seen. We are planning on hanging out soon. She's touring now but I think she's going to be in NYC for the next couple of days. Seeing her perform invoked this crave in me, this crave to just get out there and sing, but I can't do it until I get my stuff down perfectly.
I have to continue this later....

what's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen or experienced?

I think one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen was going to battery park at midnight and just being alone . I love the moon with this passion, I love the way the ocean and the moon have this relationship, always talking to each other. The reflection of the moon on the water and how it dances when the wind and currents moves the water.
It whenever i see sincerity and purity in someone, in their facial expression, in their eyes.
it feels like they're beaming with love and that love is penetrating me
whenever i see that, it's a very humbling experience
all your fronts and pretenses fall away

The first foto in the series of Eye Candy that I will have....... Dave Gahan..... I'll be seeing you soon in AA baby 

OREN

I am so annoyed. This guy that i have hung out with. I won't call him a friend or anything more like an aquaintence. In anycase he always asks me whether my company gives free HIV tests or not and I always tell him no, you need to call GMHC and he goes, I don't wanna talk to them, I wanna ask you, can you tell me if i have HIV. Do I look like I can, Do I look like I carry needles to test you I mean shit. Some people just don't listen. It really doesn't make sense. I know he's scared it's just the fact that he's lazy and not pro active about his health. Then he sleeps with seriously a whole shit load of women every week without protection. I am not judging but you gotta be careful when you live that lifestyle.

Felicity, studying and buying more books than I can read in a year

I haven't had school in the last 2 days because there was an electrical fire, so basically I have taken these 2 days to get my life in order, with going to school and working random days of the week I haven't had time to do the simplist things. So My sister Irene and I cleaned and organized the room. We are going to do laundry this week. She is also going to help me study for my culinary exam next week and with my notes from class. I know that being a chef has a lot to do with putting your time into it, so I have ordered some books from amazon.com. I also got some fun stuff like dvds, magazine subscribtions to 4 magazines and some clothes. I was like fuck it, if I am going to be a workaholic , I might as well have fun doing it. If I can go home and study and maybe spend a couple hours every couple of weeks reading on my future career or watching some dvd , then that's all I ask for. I am kicking my ass now, because I am at school and I want to be as prepared as possible for this, because next year wherever I am working, I will be attending college. So everything concerning my future is super important to me. I am also going to get one last thing. A new TV/VCR/DVD combination. Shit, I deserve it and shit, when I move into my own place sometime next year, I wanna be able to watch my stuff. Ok this is the list of shit I got for myself..... ready



Crave: The Feast of the Five Senses [Hardcover] by Lefebvre, Ludovic
A Celebration of Women Chefs: Signature Recipes from 30 Culinary Masters
Chef's Night Out: From Four-Star Restaurants to Neighborhood Favorites: 100 Top
$40 A Day : Best Eats in Town [Paperback] by Ray, Rachael
Earth Girls Are Easy [DVD]
Chappelle's Show - Season 2
Peter Pan [VHS Tape] 1960 version
Jeff Buckley's Grace (33 1/3) [Paperback] a book on his album
Meaning of Food [DVD] A PBS show
Food: A Culinary History from Antiquity to the Present (European Perspectives
The Little Mermaid (Limited Issue) [DVD]
ÃgÃtis Byrjun [Audio CD] Sigur Ros
Beauty and the Beast (Disney Special Platinum DVD
The Meaning of Food [Hardcover] by Harris, Patricia Edition
Felicity - The First Three Complete Seasons (Freshman-Junior Years)
Freak dvd by Leguizano, John
The Visual Food Encyclopedia : The Definitive Practical Guide to Food
The New Food Lover's Companion: Comprehensive Definitions of over 3000 Food and Culinary Terms
Pretty in Pink [DVD]
Empire Records DVD
Da Ali G Show - The Complete First Season [DVD]
Jamie's Kitchen dvd
Only You [DVDL'Auberge Espagnole (The Spanish Apartment) [DVD]
Live Flesh [DVD]
Garden State [DVD] (2005)
Sideways DVD 2005
Cooking Essentials for the New Professional Chef Student Workbook
Jeff Buckley - Live in Chicago [DVD
The Food Lover's Tiptionary: An A to Z Culinary Guide With More Than 4000 Food
Foodwork: Jobs in the Food Industry and How to Get Them book
Career Opportunities in the Food and Beverage Industry book



Magazine Subscriptions:
Saveur
Food & Wine
Food Arts
Chef


That's everything I got, SO that should keep me entertained for a while. I know it seems like a lot but I NEVER buy stuff for myself so I thought I would get myself a huge gift. I get some music and travel magazines already so those are taken care of... In any case if any of you wanna see " Me and you and everyone we know" with me next week email me or call me. I love you all.

Twenty-nine pearls in your kiss
A singing smile
Coffee smell and lilac skin
Your flame in me
I�m only here for this moment
I know everybody here wants you
I know everybody here thinks he needs you
I�ll be waiting right here just to show you
Jeff Buckley 

How I wish I was still 11 years old, having a crush on Kevin.... damn Winny.... why? why? 

Thomas Newton: How To Make An American Beauty

“I think there’s something divinely poetic about a field that’s unexplored; because you’re doing the best you can to try different things.” Thomas Newton was born on October 20, 1955. He went to school in Southern California. Graduated with a Masters from Yale in
Music. After graduation he played in bands and did some theatre work. He tried to steer away from his father’s shadow, but sometimes the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. The first movie that he would write a score for was Reckless (1984). Newman’s early works were mostly written for electronic instruments. He started working with acoustic instruments and synthesizers by the time The Lost Boys came out. The two movies that he scored for that I will be talking about are: American Beauty (1999) and How to Make an American Quilt (1995).

How To Make An American Quilt is a beautiful, romantic, nostalgic film about different experiences that a group of women have with love. It’s about a young, intelligent Finn (Winona Ryder) who returns to her grandmother’s house to finish her third attempt at a master’s thesis. She decides to come from Berkeley to spend the summer with her grandmother and great-aunt’s friends. While trying to finish her
thesis she is also deciding whether to marry her fiancé Sam (Dermot Mulroney). Finn’s grandmother and great-aunt and their friends decide to quilt a wedding quilt for Finn all the while telling tales of love and life experiences they had. The quilt patterns are all unique and represent the most intimate moments of all the characters lives. Youth, beauty, love and expectations of families are what this quilt is about. It’s a nostalgic fresh breath that sometime in our lives we all have to take.

The next film that I want to give you a little synopsis about is American Beauty. Lester Burham (Kevin Spacy) is suffering from a mid-life crisis, or is it a mid-life awakening. His wife Carolyn (Annette Bening) is a real estate agent who’s obsessed with selling
houses and materialistic aspects of life, while their daughter Jane (Thora Birch) hates her body and her parents. Jane’s best friend Angela (Mena Suvari) is obsessed with sex and bragging about men’s desire for her. Lester develops an obsession with Angela, quits his
job, blackmails his boss for 60,000 and starts finding out what life is really about. Jane falls in love with next door neighbor Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley) who films everything he sees and Carolyn starts having an affair with the real estate agent who seems to sell all the houses in the market.
So, why did I pick these two movies? Well, first of all I think it’s interesting that they are both dealing aspects of with life such as love, death, memories, quilting, filming; self-discovery. These two movies have several things in common. Thomas Newton is the composer for both, and that they are both life altering about changes in people’s lives. I think it’s interesting that he chose to do the music for both these films because they are dealing with topics concerning life. Listening to his music, I feel he has an amazing understanding of the romantic, nostalgic memories people hold and the cynical
satirical moments. His pieces aren’t very long. For American Beauty the actual length of the score was thirty seven minutes, for How To Make An American Quilt it was about twenty five minutes. Although he seems to be a minimalist I feel he uses his pieces well. His timing is impeccable. John Corigliano said “Minimalism is an example of music
I have great reservations about. I like the beautiful sounds, the hypnotic quality the attention on tiny changes that puts you into a trancelike state”. I think that when John Corigliano said this he must have been talking about Thomas Newton. This is the same exact feelings I have when I listen to his music. He flows with the images so well,
understanding the subtle hints of life’s moments, he has a way of adding this speck of intensity that makes you reexamine the images. He dives into the depths of emotions in a very simplistic sounding way. For example in American Beauty Thomas adds an underlying element, musical color, He adds sensuous and quirkiness to define the irony of the family’s dynamics. His use of lonesome soft pianos, detuned mandolins, tablas, kim-kim drums, bird calls, Appalachian dulcimers, lap steel guitars, ukuleles, violins, create the coloristic score. Unconventional score yet familiar feelings. There are many interesting layers of sounds and effects, which seem abstract but draw you into your own little world where you can relate. It brings me to Aaron Copland’s quote in The New York Times that said “Music can create a more convincing atmosphere of time and place”. In all this materialistic success that the family has, Thomas Newton uses his
musical structure to let you into their secrets. His music in this film relies a lot on the feelings of the characters. The situations that they are going through. He colorizes the intention of the characters and the effects of what happens to them with gloomy,
quirky, moody pieces. There seems to be a thematic sounding piano piece “Mental Boy” represents Lester’s world coming down and the romantic weirdness of Jane and Ricky’s relationship. Most of the tracks are stylistically similar. Newton creates a stylistic musical parody for the film. It’s perfect it creates this eerie, uncomfortableness to the suburban town they live in. It’s quite comical at times. The quirky use of the detuned mandolins, tablas, kim-kim drums, add to the plastic lifestyles that people live. He recognizes the character’s emotions and situations by underlying the psychological elements to the music. It’s effective because the music allows the dialogue to
pierce the audience, then the music kicks in the fill in whatever the audience needs to settle with. This film is filled with tense scenes and Newton let’s you look at them then digest them with a little sip of music. Making you crave more because the music gets something that you are coming to grips with. It teases you, gives you some
information then disappears before you are given the whole answer. Evaluate the tensions because when they are mentioned, it’s only for a second or two, then you are left with a tune. At the final scene, Lester sits at the table looking at a picture of his wife and
daughter, reexamining his life. He realizes it wasn’t all bad and then the music starts playing and somehow you know that he’s going to die.
You take his death in. A breath leaves your lips and you are left with the film’s soul mate; it’s music.

In How To Make An American Quilt, Newton does the same thing. The beginning theme is very poetic and romantic. Just a feeling of harmonious memories of love. Themes to sit on your rocking chair to as you are recounting a lush moment of your past. . Sounds created by the oboe , string, piano, harp and woodwinds. It highlights the emotions, the experiences, the images. This man knows his stuff. The theme starts when Ellen Burstyn starts recalling a love affair. It’s very sad and nostalgic. The Harp and piano adds to the empty feelings, the longing of wanting to be back in that romantic moment. The simple chord adds a lyrical releasing sound. There are a lot of emotional and lustful elements that the music adds. Thomas Newton once again leaves silences when needed. He lets you feel and understand the tense moments completely and then lets you settle it with some musical score. He once again lets you analyze the images and scenes in the film. Whenever the storytelling begins the music plays to let you know that a story is getting told, that it’s a memory.

There is a scene with Finn (Winona Ryder) going to the public pool with her aunt and grandmother. An American rock song comes on which brings them together. It’s a way of connecting generations. Connecting them so they can understand each other more.
There are some songs that come on that seem like “regretful tunes”. There is a scene when one of the grandmother’s friends is telling her story of when she went swimming when she was younger and this very lyrical tune comes on. It’s emotional and sad, giving you hint that even though it started out hopeful, things didn’t end all well.
Whenever a vivid memory starts playing, Newton let’s the music kick in to add to the moment. He builds up a very longing piece. Something filled with the emotions of eternal searching, dissatisfaction and discontent. The music lets us see that all these women just went through life changing moments, all at different stages of their life. Youth is one thing that they all shared, the youthful hope that life would offer so much more that what they got. Not to make that they don’t appreciate what they have, just that life led them another way. Once again the soundtrack is one that focuses on people’s struggles
and desires. Newton must be attached to this theme, because it shows through his work. Bitter thoughts, sweet dreams, we all have them; Newton captures them with a breathtaking score that fills your soul and makes you want to be young again. Or go back to whenever your happiest moment was. His music plays with the happiest moment. He
takes that thought in more in this film than in American Beauty. There he concentrated on the moments when things were getting sour. He focuses on the beauty and intimacy of these love stories. Newton is great at having his music being the Signifier of emotion
and narrative cueing. In these two films he uses his skills and timing well. First you must understand humans’ emotions, limitations, desires and mistakes and he gives very good narrative cues. Tells you what’s coming next, or at least hints at it without spoiling the goods. In an interview he said that point of color is very important to him. He picks an instrument and builds up to it. His scores are usually unconventional. He also uses a lot of piano motifs. Must be the element of loneliness and longing that piano sounds can do. He holds a great importance to the relationship between sound and music. He finds the relationship of those moments when you mix sound and music together interesting. I think that also his minimalist approach is very smart. Films that are overdosing on sounds or music take away any effect that the music or sound might have on the film. He does a good job at finding the balance. With him the music just flows and rings a memory, touches a chord that just makes it abstract but still leaves you with an emotional reaction. I think of Newton as the people’s composer because I feel he understands human beings so well. Frank Zappa (or Elvis Costello!)once said “Writing about music is like dancing about Architecture” , you can’t really do it sometimes. There aren’t enough words to talk about how music makes someone feel. Sometimes it’s indescribable the way twins have their own language and no one else understands them. Music is a universal language that sometimes is just internally felt. Thomas Newton can tell you this through is work.

Brighter promises

So I just got a call from the Dean of my school, there was an electrical fire, so there are no classes tomorrow. I needed to hear something like that. I mean I have so much work to catch up with. It gives me time to clean my room a little and also study and get some notes down for friday. It also gives me more time to actually, write my paper, that's due on friday, so I am very excited about a whole day off. I need to use it well. Tonight I wanna get tomorrow's and friday's homework out of the way. I also want to organize my room a bit more and start the notes on my paper.
"Our greatest glory is not
in never falling, but in rising everytime we
fall" by Confucius.
I also need to write down what's going on next week, because it's a super busy week. I have an exam on wednesday and I am volunteering in a brooklyn kitchen on thursday. I ordered several DVDS from amazon.com which I can't wait to get and as well as more culinary books. I also subscribed to 4 magazines. God this is boring. But it looks as though the next several months I'll be studying my ass off, and making the best of my education because I need a good paying job when I get out so I can finish my BA, this time in the arts.
Some of you have been asking if I am dating and the answer is :NO
If you wanna hang out Friday afternoon and saturday
(all day) look good. Book it up....

IRENE

SEPERATE THE CLOTHES AND IF YOU CAN WASH THEM.... I AM SUPER TIRED AND I DON'T HAVE TIME WHEN I GET BACK FROM SCHOOL. ALSO I GOT US TICKETS TO SEE DANE COOK SEPETEMBER 16TH!!!!!!!!!!!!

name translated into Japanese is:

中村 Nakamura (center of the village) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child)

Half a MIND

sometimes i wish we had a short term memory just enough to recognize each other's face

it would be the same old stories but you're hanging onto every single word i have to say

and to the world i'm not that clever but you would stay with me forever

i'd keep your friends from reminding, reminding you to


save yourself, leave me behind you would if you had half a mind

i'd tell you every day's your birthday and every gift i bring could be the same

or how i stood beside you at a shotgun wedding and the child we once would love but never came

hearing stories that were never you would stay with me forever


but i'd forget to make money and you'd forget to


save yourself, leave me behind you would if you had half a mind (how vulnerable you are)

write a note to remind you you would if you had half a mind (how effortless to stay together)


for these ties you may have severed now you'll stay with me forever


and so you write on your forehead, or better yet you engrave

so when you look in the mirror, well you won't forget to


save yourself, leave me behind you would if you had half a mind (how vulnerable you are)

write a note to remind you you would if you had half a mind (how effortless to stay together)


if we had no memory whatsoever we would stay right here forever

Good weekend

All I wanna do is stay in bed and sleep in, except I can't sleep in past 10 am, and even that's stretching it for me. My body is used to waking up at 5:30-6:00 am. Anyway I am finishing up homework that I was too tired last night to finish. When I come back from school, I have to write about finally seeing "Crash", that movie was amazing, I knew it would be from when I saw the trailer 5 months ago. I also ended up eating at the same chinese resaurant that Martin and his friends were eating at. I met Mike a friend of Martin, that Martin has been wanting me to meet forever. He's an fucking amazing guy. He knows every fucking song from the 80-90's from front to back, when they came out, who sang, when it was released, the tour names everything. We all started singing Depeche Mode songs in the chinese place. Speaking of..... Depeche Mode has a new album coming out this fall which means. I AM FUCKING SEE THEM TOUR AGAIN!!!!!!!

times are busy

So I am kinda excited today. I am seeing one of my closest friends from boarding school. I haven't seen Shonagh since shit I think it's been about 2 years now, ridiculous! In any case this girl is amazing always a fighter and an extremely hard worker. She lives in Arizona now, were her parents moved to. SHe's just working her ass off there and then deciding where she is going to finish college. She is originally from Philly. Anyway we are spending time together today and tomorrow I believe. I have school but since its in the morning it's not that bad. My room is a mess because my sister hasn't organized her things yet, there is no room in this house for all of us. Anyway I wanna take her to the movies and some dinner. I have to do homework though. So, right now she's in philly and she's waiting for the train to arrive. While she's doing that, I am taking a shower, cleaning some clothes and getting dressed. If I have some time left, I'll squeeze in my homework, if not I'll do it tonight when I get back.

What else, I had a weird dream, were NIN were on tour again and this time I couldn't go and they heard about it and invited me on stage to be a dancer for the show. It was sooooooooo weird. It was with the old members of NIN as well. I ended up making out with Danny Lohner.... welcome.


So I have to admit, I have been depressed lately, not with school but with other things, and i just eat my sorrows up. SO today while Shonagh and I are running around I am going to buy myself a combination lock for a locker at the gym and force myself to go after school. I need to, because if not I feel disgusting. I was going for a while and just stopped because I was getting so busy, but now I have to get back into the swing of things so by winter of this coming year I get down to the size I want to get down to......

Ok I gotta go and start doing my stuff.
peace and have beautiful day everyone

This is a little eye candy for my sister Irene.... because you like men like this 

This picture is dedicated to my beautiful friend Martin..... Here is a little eye candy... Happy Pride Season. 

This picture is dedicated to Fabio and a conversation we were having in March about whether Morrissey was asexual or not. 

Opened Once....

I am getting half sick thinking about the death of Dave, it's crazy how it's been almost a year and sometimes I think it still hasn't hit me. I miss him so much, I feel like he's leaving me. I don't know.. I wish I had more time to know him, I wish I could have saved him, I wish he didn't leave. I haven't cried this hard in a long time, I hold in my tears so hard my head hurts. No one could ever replace him. I just think everything is mushy because he left so suddenly. I keep listening to Jeff's " Opened once" it reminds me of him because i feel like I am forgetting him sometimes. Dave, I am i can't talk right now